Driving the Dead-End Road of Dementia
I May Forget But I’ll Always Remember
by Cheryl Ambrozic
Who are we without our memories? How hard it must be to feel them go Who do we become without what we know? A lifetime of happiness, smiles and tears To not be able to recollect the years To be, but not to be, who you are anymore To dull the pain, her sin is gin After one or two, she’ll share a few Stories of youth, love, a long-lost face She tries to retrace, but the details get misplaced Like a Sorry piece in a Life game These last few years, I’m brought to tears Watching her memory slip away When I pull her near, she’ll confess her fear But assures me – I may forget, but I’ll always remember
I may forget but I’ll always remember The magic of Christmas in December The family, the traditions I treasure Long warm days of July Blue sky and blackberry pie Laughing with friends at the lake When I scan my mind, only some I’ll find But the feelings and meaning remain Can’t you see, I’m still me I may forget but I’ll always remember Mama, please don’t fade away Talk to me; help me know what’s real Listen while I tell you how I feel While you are still living Know how grateful I am for all you've given Mama, please keep your stories alive So I won’t forget, so I’ll always remember
For five years, our family has helplessly watched as the tears in the fabric of mom’s memory have become holes that can no longer be stitched.
One morning while mom and I were having coffee, she began reminiscing on one of her and dad’s escapades. Having heard the story many times, I noticed how she couldn’t remember some of the cherished details. I tenderly helped her recall them. After the end of that awkward exchange, she looked at me and said, “I may forget, but I’ll always remember.”
Her poignant words give me some peace as I watch her struggle with her memory loss. I developed them into lyrics to shed a little light of understanding for others was they helplessly witness a loved one travels down the dead-end road of dementia.
When I read the lyrics to ma, she knew I’ve been listening, that I heard her. She knew the song was about her. With teary eyes, she said she could even hear the melody even though there was no music. She told me, “This needs to be shared with others.”
So now I try.
Hi Cheryl,
Cousin Karen Shelledy here reaching out to you to let you know how touched I was by your words “I May forget But I’ll always remember”, I didn’t realize Aunt Billie was suffering from dementia. Aunt Billie is in my prayers daily as I can certainly relate to your situation. I was so glad to hear that you continue to help Aunt Billie member your family stores. My BFF for 40 years was diagnosed with dementia in 2020 at the age of 69. Debbie turned 73 yesterday and we had a delightful conversation, [some fantasy] and some real memories. It is heartbreaking to watch someone lose some of their memories.
Thank you for sharing your story. So, so powerful. All the best to all the Ambrozics. Hugs and sending love,
Kind regards,
Karen Shelledy Fruscione Marie Ambrozic’s daughter
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Hi Karen and thank you for your comments. Miss all you blue-eyed beauties! Love you!
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